Are You or Someone You Care about Experiencing Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a serious issue and touches many lives. Domestic violence is the attempt to control a partner’s thoughts, feelings and actions. It can take a variety of forms:
Physical
abuse: an abuser’s physical attacks or aggressive behavior
can range from physical bruising to murder. It can start with physical
contact that is explained away or minimized, but often increases in more
frequent, serious attacks.
Psychological abuse: an abuser’s psychological abuse can include verbal abuse, name calling and put downs, intimidation, excessive possessiveness, isolating the woman from her family and friends, accusations of cheating, stalking, deprivation of economic resources and destruction of property.
Sexual abuse: physical attacks by the abuser can be accompanied by sexual violence where the woman is forced to have sexual intercourse or other unwanted sexual activity with her abuser.
How prevalent is it? Here are some statistics:
- Up to 3 million women are physically abused by their husbands or boyfriends in any given year.
- Thirty percent of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.
- In the United States, on average, three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.
- Nearly one in three American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
- Approximately one in five female high school students report being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.
- Studies suggest that anywhere between 3 million and 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
- Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will eventually abuse their children.
- Eighty-five percent of all domestic violence victims are women; only 15% are men.
Fear, intimidation, physical or sexual assaults have no place in a healthy relationship. And, even though the abuser frequently blames the victim for his behavior -- that he was provoked by something the woman did or did not do -- the truth is that each individual is responsible for his own behavior and actions. No one forces another person to hit or terrify anybody.
Here are some questions to help you determine if you or a loved one is in a domestic violence situation:
- Does your partner ever hit you, beat you or hurt you? Has he ever threatened to hurt you? Does he throw things or destroy things, such as furniture or your personal belongings?
- Does your partner seem overly jealous, frequently accusing you of cheating on him? Does he follow you or check up on you frequently during the day? Does he call you often, asking where you are, who you’re with and when will you get home?
- Has he tried to isolate you from your friends and family, making it hard for you to see people who care about you? Are you scared to bring up certain topics for fear of what his reaction might be?
- Has your partner ever been physically abusive to your children or pets?
- Is he critical of you, using cruel or degrading speech toward you? Does he call you names and try to humiliate you when you’re alone or in front of others?
- Has he ever threatened to have you deported?
If you answered “Yes” to any of the above questions, chances are you or a loved one is experiencing domestic violence. You do not have to live like this. There is help for you and your children when you are ready.
The Employee Assistance Program has helped many people in domestic violence situations. We urge you to call the EAP or speak to your primary care physician. Your call to the EAP is confidential and safe. We can help you and your children get the help you need. You don’t’ have to feel bad. Help is just a phone call away.
Call the Employee Assistance Program at 1-800-888-5105.